Friday, 17 April 2009

Oi, Weak-Beaked Swan, Get Over Here and Dance for Your Master!

Ink and GEW made me do it.

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Academic Hopeful!

  1. Astronauts get taller when they are in Academic Hopeful.
  2. Moles are able to tunnel through 300 feet of Academic Hopeful in a day.
  3. Humans share over 98 percent of their DNA with Academic Hopeful.
  4. Early thermometers were filled with Academic Hopeful instead of mercury.
  5. A bride should wear something old, something new, something borrowed, and Academic Hopeful.
  6. All swans in England belong to Academic Hopeful.
  7. Over 46,000 pieces of Academic Hopeful float on every square mile of ocean.
  8. Academic Hopeful is actually a vegetable, not a fruit!
  9. In the Spanish edition of Cluedo, Academic Hopeful is the victim!
  10. A Academic Hopefulometer is used to measure Academic Hopeful.
If you're feeling scatty today, rather than doing 5 minutes of helpful, desktop Yoga why not get a quick hit of your own surrealist trivia from the Mechanical Contrivium?

I have set myself up by publishing facts 1, 2, 3 and 8. I trust that you are too sophisticated to go for these sitting ducks...or swans (Rahaha! Oink. Swig of champagne whilst reclining on my live bird couches).

8 comments:

Dr. No said...

I was just searching through the VWR catalog and can't find any Hopefulmeters, where can this delicate piece of equipment be purchased?

Academic, Hopeful said...

You're a classic, Dr. No. How do you not just stay home all day and make jokes to yourself in the mirror? I imagine you get more satisfication in blogland, but if I were you, I would be so smug and self-isolate.

I must say, I had to look up what VWR meant. I am quite certain a Hopefulometer isn't accredited and therefore would not cut it chez VRW. I suspect that if you were to buy one, suddenly the vendor would pull the rug over the rest of his wares and jump into the back of a van.

I am not sure what that says about me. I am bored from thinking about myself too much! Need to submit.

Academic, Hopeful said...

..submit thesis, that is.

Ink said...

What a great list! And you own ALL the swans? Then you don't even need to submit your thesis. Just charge a swan-tax for anyone looking at said birds. Yeah!

But seriously, is your deadline soon? When do you defend? Best to you.

Academic, Hopeful said...

Submission date isn't until end of Summer (30 Sept) and viva won't be for another couple of months after that, so not particularly soon. But it feels soon to me as I have such an enormous amount of work to finish and polish before then.

I realise this is the normal run of things (I am not special! Mah!). I am simply looking forward to some of the self-obsession/doubt to subside once I have finished. This environment does not help with general nutty behaviour either.

Thanks for your wishes. Hope all's well for you too!

Good Enough Woman said...

I am both sympathetic and envious that you are close to submission. I am still a long way a way, just in the baby stage--the stage when you doubt if you'll really be able to do it. Or, wait. Maybe that's in ALL the stages?

BTW, my Cousin (aka GoodEnoughCousin) is getting married in October. Are you free so that she can wear you?

Dr. No said...

Actually, I have no job and do sit at home and crack myself up all day. I did venture out to my local "dark alley van" peddler, no Hopefulmeters but I scored some weed.

And hey, while an enormous amount of angst is just, well, necessary- you come out the other side knowing you can conquer damn near anything.

Academic, Hopeful said...

Thanks team. You're all super. I think we four should so some sort of live chat about a topic and post it on our blogs. What do you reckon? The technology is there and waiting!

GEW - if I have submitted my thesis before your cousin's wedding, I will serve as a donkey to take her down the aisle.