Monday, 11 May 2009

Too Tired to Be Grateful

photo by: Denis Collette

Hey, remember how I said I listened to this meditation podcast that told me to turn my frustration into gratitude? Well, it's only just about working at the moment. Probably not working, really.

Here are some things I did on Sunday that made me smile and feel connected:
  • Lay in bed for a while, stared and turned into different foetal balls.
  • Rang home for Aussie Mother's Day and had a nice chat with my mother and my youngest brother.
  • Pilates at the gym - which I am suddenly rather fond of since it appears to be reversing some of the effects of my poor posture at the computer. Wore some long 80s-style leggings which made me want to do star jumps.
  • Strolled from town to Cowley via G&D's for a bananarama milkshake and the Sunday papers (reading about Liv Tyler bouncing back after divorce, the MPs expenses scandal, and how a high profile lesbian fell in love with a well-known bisexual author).
  • Boyfriend met me there and asked me to hurry up by looking at me in a certain way. I asked him whether he was "on my team today or not because things could be easy or hard." He gave me a big hug, but then walked out anyway so I abandoned my reading material.
  • Met friends for lunch, at their place off Cowley Road. Brought chicken and rhubarb as contribution to feast.
  • Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (USA) was on in the background while we prepared vegies for roast lunch and fruit for crumble.
  • Watched someone who knows how to cut things quickly and cook intuitively.
  • Animated conversation over table about how we were parented, the nature of ambition, social rules.
  • Full and pretty drowsy, cruised on over to the Little Feat gig at the Carling Academy on Cowley Road. Full of chunky men, most over 55.
  • Favourite Little Feat songs still Fat Man in the Bathtub, The Weight, Willing, and Dixie Chicken. (I talked these guys up a while ago and think you should at least check out these songs.)
  • Back home for foccacia dipped in oil and balsamic vinegar as no dinner. This snack seemed very late 90s New Labour to me.
  • Boyfriend playfully poked me and I said he poked me like Monty Burns and he said "Release the Hounds."
Here is what happened yesterday that is making me feel emotionally detached from the list above:
  • Went to Dept, tried to work, but felt glandy and squinty.
  • Then after lunch, as if on auto-pilot, just left Dept, walked home and slept for 2 hours.
  • Feel as if I could sleep for a month but must get on with chapters.
Now wondering if day off (Sunday) is best spent just lying and staring. Bearing in mind that I do exercise in the week and I do try to get to bed at a sensible hour, I would really appreciate some tips to better relax and use my time off to gain energy rather than lose it. Thank you.


Kate said...

This might make me sound outrageously self-centred, but I really feel having some time to yourself is key. Make something, draw, doodle, read, have a bath, read a mag, cook - just something where the noisy burr of your brain can become a mild hum.

I also like seeing movies or having a quiet dinner with friends, too. Throw in a gentle walk, good healthy food and that's it! An afternoon snooze also never hurt.

Hang in there - miss you! xx

Kate said...

You notice I put 'read' and 'read a mag' separately. Oops. I'm not a pretentious "magazines aren't literature" type. Just a mistake. :)

KT Lindsay said...

As someone who experiences very long weeks, I have found, much to my annoyance, that the only way I can keep functioning semi-normally is by having one full day a week at home, completely lazing around just 'being'. It sounds boring and lazy, but think of the stress you put your body and brain under every day. Body and brain need to align and be completely calm. If you are tired. You need to sleep, relax, and regenerate by eating good food. That's really the only cure. We are quite simple beings really xxx

Good Enough Woman said...

So, my question is whether or not Monday's nap did the trick. Do you feel better now? If so, then the big social day followed by a sleepy day seems like a good recipe. Unless, of course, you don't have time to have one of each. Then maybe Sunday should be one half sleepy and one half social.

I often feel tremendous anxiety that I won't use my days off in the best way that I should. This anxiety, in itself, causes problems.

Now that I have kids, my choices are different, but when I was single and living alone, I usually had to spend all of Saturday by myself in order to recover from the week. I would get up, listen to NPR, clean the kitchen, go for a walk, clean the rest of the apartment, and then read. Then maybe a matinee alone. And then MAYBE drinks with friends in the evening. I really love that "alone time."

Hang in there!

Academic, Hopeful said...

Thanks guys. Grateful! : )

Just for clarity - usually socialising and dancing or seeing art or music renew me, but these days they seem to make me stunned with fatigue. Planning on this being temporary. As you say, things will be easier when have one day to play, one day just to be/ rest.

Ink said...

I hope you're feeling better now. Hope you have had a chance to grab some naps, which are good for the soul!

Alice said...

I may be a bit late to the party, but I'm with Good Enough Woman: if the nap did the trick, then you've got to keep listening to your body.

For my circumstances, I've had to come to terms with 'granny naps,' which can more widely be applied as 'sleep if your body is telling you to.' The point is not to have to justify it, but just rest, then when you are able, get back to work.

My other bit of advice is to start the day with exercise. When I'm able, I like to walk first thing in the morning. Either on the treadmill in front of a West Wing episode, or outdoors with a good podcast. Despite a few mornings filled with misgivings, I've found if you pull your trainers on as soon as you swing your legs out of bed, you're in for a good start to the day.

Strange as it sounds, it always makes me think of that Caesar Milano guy (aka. Dog Whisperer): we all need exercise and assertiveness.