tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5913229899720792807.post6071989214034442397..comments2023-10-06T15:32:58.414+01:00Comments on Academic, Hopeful: Those Men and Women Again!Academic, Hopefulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17474557296107830403noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5913229899720792807.post-28623147195496496812009-07-01T19:07:58.367+01:002009-07-01T19:07:58.367+01:00What no one tells you in school is that it's t...What no one tells you in school is that it's terribly easy to fall back into gender stereotypes in relationships. However you behave outside of one, it's very hard to resist the triggers inherent in certain kinds of male behaviour. When I was first married, good feminist that I am, I cooked the meals in our little kitchen and my husband Took Pictures Of Them. Whatever were we thinking? But I guess we were playing domesticity. Then we had a child and it all got very serious. I ended up with most of the work because my tolerance levels were the lowest and I felt overwhelming guilt if I wasn't there doing everything I could for my son. <br /><br />Watch and learn, ladies. Whatever the temptations, domestic caretaking is the province of every member of a household, and it's not mean or unloving to insist on equal shares (equal meaning equal effort and commitment, not necessarily a neat division). Oh and interesting books include Mothers on the Fast Track by Mary Ann Mason and Eve Mason Ekman, on the difficulties of motherhood and a career, and also The Game by Neil Strauss, about how to pick up women using, amongst other things, the technique of strategic insults. It's scary stuff.litlovehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10952927245186474480noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5913229899720792807.post-29281045235154229552009-06-02T01:00:07.671+01:002009-06-02T01:00:07.671+01:00Bring on the feminist Gods!!
I can totally imagin...Bring on the feminist Gods!!<br /><br />I can totally imagine the guy's tone and I'm sure it would have got my skin crawling and resulted in a very similar comeback. Unless he was stirring, people like that make me nutsy. <br /><br />I guess I was just playing devil's advocate, because your post made me thoughtful about what kind of wife I'd make, particularly if I'm pursuing the work from home writer thang. <br /><br />First things first, though, I would not marry a guy like that!!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17245742125561982749noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5913229899720792807.post-32299949195098566442009-06-01T19:05:36.529+01:002009-06-01T19:05:36.529+01:00Dutiful wife at home preparing dinners and mistres...Dutiful wife at home preparing dinners and mistress tucked away somewhere else? This guy is crazy and I wouldn't give that kind of relationship more than 2 minutes before she dies of boredom.<br /><br />Where I live at the moment, close to Marylebone Station, was some years ago a neighbourhood for prostitutes. A friend was telling me that he had one next door and that her clientele consisted mostly of businessmen commuters returning to their wives in the home counties after a hot day at work. Her busiest period was 4.30pm to 6.30pm. She retired to Italy a few years ago. We don't know where the businessmen go now...John Floodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03618951794976509582noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5913229899720792807.post-26473154702540554562009-06-01T10:32:23.567+01:002009-06-01T10:32:23.567+01:00Fair play, Alice. I can only assure you that the g...Fair play, Alice. I can only assure you that the guy I was talking was referring to the dutiful model. <br /><br />But you're completely right to point out that graciously enjoying cetain aspects of domestic life does not necessarily make anyone bland or oppressed. I think I'd take on the feminist Gods with you on that one (nice image!) and, really, I should have thought more about the meaning behind these situations before stepping into the minefield that is a woman's position in society. <br /><br />There's just something so aggravating about a guy being entitled about the prospect of having his dinners made for him (rather than the fact that women often cook or even like to cook). Maybe I didn't convey the guy's tone well in the original post, but it was accompanied by a smug grin. For various reasons, I just didn't expect to have to deal with that sort of thing here too much if at all, but it occurs quite often.Academic, Hopefulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17474557296107830403noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5913229899720792807.post-37804128553507235832009-06-01T02:13:16.277+01:002009-06-01T02:13:16.277+01:00Will I draw the wrath of the feminist Gods upon me...Will I draw the wrath of the feminist Gods upon me for suggesting that a wife can cook her husband a meal without being a dull conversationalist? You may have been going for hyperbole, but in this day and age, I don't believe the term 'wife' has to hold the (largely negative) 1950's Stepford connotations. <br /><br />Oprah informs me about studies that show despite households where both partners work, the woman still does the majority of the housework. Old habits dying hard? Maybe. But we also can't escape the biological necessity of being the bearers of rug rats, which puts us in the position of being at home (perhaps only for 6 months maternity leave, but still) that would create said situation of cooking dinner for hubby.<br /><br />But then again, there's takeaway.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17245742125561982749noreply@blogger.com